Getting Swept Up or Staying the Course

Getting Swept Up in the Tide

I remember hearing a young girl in France tell me, “Je me’repose.” “I’m reposing myself.”

Wow, I thought to have such sensibility at such a young age.

Living in Marin again I can’t imagine many children saying, they want to repose themselves instead of attending a birthday party or doing another activity. As for the adults it is almost as difficult. There is no doubt that the opportunities to do something every hour of the day, every day of the week are to be found in the big city--- and that is what we also love about it. But, we are trying to stay the course and not get swept up in "the more paradigm" and having to do everything.

The push hapened the other day when we had to make a decision to add (or not to add) one more activity to Zoe-Pascale’s already busy schedule.

We had been invited to join an acting class that was tied to possible talent agents. This alone was flattering and exciting and the sale person was superb!

After deliberating for two days, discussing it as a family, and weighing the pros and cons, we all agreed it would be best for the family and for Zoe-Pascale to decline. The challenge in making the decision was that we wondered, "Is this a once in a lifetime opportunity? Will she ever get the chance again?"

We finally decided, no, we would pass.

The upside is that we keep our sacred time together without more obligations. We can do what we like on Sunday; play, sleep, read, hike, swim. We aren’t scheduled and we aren’t over booked. Zoe-Pascale lives more balanced with time for homework, reading, ballet, and another theater class. On the other hand (my tiny voice says), Is she missing an opportunity? Will she not be famous one day as a result? Will someone else get discovered?

I ran into another mom, whose daughter had also been invited. They decided to go forth and enroll in the Sunday class for six months. For a moment, my heart stopped beating and I could feel myself questioning myself, “Did we make the right decision?” I could envision her daughter becoming the next Hannah Montana and was turning red with envy. And then I took a deep breath. No, we made the right decision. It is so easy to get swept up and flattered and keep on doing more. The result would be the same as always; stress, more expenses, little family time, and no time to repose ourselves.

Living in a big city or urban area offers fantastic opportunities. Opportunities to do more than are possible. The questions I keep asking myself are;

“If money were no object, would we have said yes? If our decision was only about how we use our time, how would the choice be different?”

This will not be the last time we grapple with these questions, especially with a 9 year old daughter and we might not always make the best choice for everyone. Overall, however, our ultimate choices come down to how we use our time. For now, we choose to cuddle in bed on Sunday morning and have a spontaneous, free day -- now if Hannah Montana came calling, maybe we would do it differently.