I've lost 5 hours a week

Maybe it's the busyness of life, the fact that Jean is working fulltime with little flexibility, or that the day is actually shorter (being both winter and Zoe's school finishes at 3:15), but I am continuously talking to myself that it is okay to take time out to enjoy the small pleasures I so loved in France. Everyday I vacillate if I have time to go to yoga, time to sip a cup of coffee with a friend, time to walk the dog. This morning I woke up a bit earlier and lay in bed reading for a few minutes. With a remembrance of France, Jean brought me a cup of coffee and a few minutes later Zoe slipped into bed with her book and a piping hot mug of tea. For fifteen whole minutes we lay in bed, reading and sipping together before we felt the rush to get moving on the day. So what's the difference I asked myself? In St. Quentin, Zoe started school at 9 and it was a 2 minute walk. Today it is 8:15 and a 15 minute drive in the car (which is actually pretty quick). But that extra hour means we could get up a bit more leisurely without waking up at the crack of dawn. In either situation it was 9am before I was ready to start the day. Yoga, a walk, a cafe in the cafe or to the office to write; this was the big decisions each morning. Today, the decisions are the same, but feel different. I kept asking myself why? Why does it feel so different.

First I do believe that Jean not working from home (or even nearby), but on the road and gone all day has forced both of us to realize we don't like it. A luxury we have had, but something we can create again. There is no reason that he should be working where he is commuting 3-4 hours a day. It just doesn't make sense, except for now with the economy, it is what it is. Not for long--- our souls just can't tolerate it.  I however, have more freedom to my day; albeit a shorter day. Instead of going to yoga from 9:30-11:00 as I also did in Uzes and having until 5pm to focus on my work. I now have only unti 3pm. A two hour shorter day. Now granted I have the extra time on Wednesday (before Zoe had no school) but even if I count working 3-4 hours more on Wednesday, I'm still missing 4 hours a week of time to work. Maybe I have just discovered how the French are more creative and more productive as the studies show???

Think about this for a minute instead of my 5 hours of work from 12-5, four days a week at 20 hours a week. (Granted I may have lunch somedays, but then I make it up in the morning). If I go to Yoga or for a walk or coffee or do an errand, I work from 12-3, five days a week at 15 hours a week. No wonder I am feeling I don't have enough time. Maybe the schools truly ought to consider a four day a week longer week schedule!!!  

Jean suggested I get up at 6 am and work for an hour each morning. But doesn't that defeat the purpose of leisurely waking up? Maybe I'll try it some days when the sun starts to rise earlier, but for now I'm just going to have to be more productive in my 15 hours as I refuse to give up snuggling in bed in the early morning with Zoe or taking time to enjoy the small pleasures of life.  

 Zoe-Pascale 9th Birthday